Very recently, I finally decided to order a vial of injectable estradiol enanthate, which I planned to pick up at a local post office. Unfortunately the USPS did not realize I meant to ship to the post office, leading to the post office thinking the package had an incomplete address, causing them to return the vial to sender (who was using a fake address to protect their own privacy). So now the vial is somewhere lost and left to rot in an empty address in California. 80 dollars are gone forever. For these few months, I'll continue slowly getting more and more irreversible damage as testosterone keeps poisoning my body and bone structure. At least I have spironolactone as an anti-androgen for now, but it is running out in a few weeks.
What the hell have I done with my life? I worked for my one chance of salvation and lost it. God help me.